There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
