went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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