Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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