Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
