The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
