He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the condom got lost in my hair
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
