Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just gargled with NyQuil
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