She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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