Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
