i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
