I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
