god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
