she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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