it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
