i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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