She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
