just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sext me about skeletons
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