Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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