i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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