and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize