she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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