Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
