i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
