So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
