The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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