omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
