Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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