good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So many bounce houses so little time
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
