i don't plan on having that self control this summer
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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