He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
