when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
