Its about making memories worth repressing
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
