Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
