She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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