i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
