Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
