Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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