His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
