he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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