I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize