dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can't turn off my feet"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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