She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
