You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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