You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
