You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
