from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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