im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize