Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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