lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Someone signed my nipple.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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