dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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