fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
