I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The struggles of a small town man whore
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
