He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
