I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dignity is for republicans.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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