Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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