we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize