i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
