Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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