I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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