Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
