Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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