Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
