I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
