): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
