i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
