So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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