In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dude. I can hear the air.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize