I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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