she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
