Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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