we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
