Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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