Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
