Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
