Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
operation harelip BJ is a go
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
