I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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