everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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