How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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