"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
